Things are strange for me at the moment..

SO many feelings, so little energy and tolerance to deal with them all.

Why is it that negative feelings, however trivial, always out do the great feelings and make you feel awful? It just makes no sense.

So I got into art school, unconditional offer from my first [and only] choice which I have been fretting about for YEARS, and thats not exaggerated. From the beginning of my education in upper school - maybe even before, I knew I wanted to go to art school. My sister got a masters in portsmouth and LOVED it, and I guess thats where I get my influence from. Getting accepted made me so happy, and it just happened that one of the first people I tell and wanted them to be proud of me - of course after my dad and Kerry is the main reason I am so fed up of everything right now... ANYWAY - in conclusion, I was over the god damn bloody moon, and I guess I still am to be honest.

The second most amazing news everywhere I STILL can't discuss anywhere on the internet - so will have to save that for another blog. However it is yet another reason why I should be THRILLED, and don't get me wrong - I am.

It only takes one stupid thing to get me on a downer. Relationships should be banned until ready to reproduce. Male species should be educated on how to be brilliant and not suck and upset you, or maybe just be kept in cages. Its not just this relationship ending, its just the fact its happened to me before, and this time I thought it was going ok. I am a f**king idiot though...

Anyway - I am on the mend, making things, singing again, learning, reading, playing computer games, and seeing old friends. In a way it is better for me, but now there is something missing and I have to rearrange my already knotted up thread resembling life and fill the gaps.

Shouldnt be too hard, but still upsetting.

I am a strong girl and I would rather stick pins in my eyes and eat my own arms then let a guy mess up my life...So -

NEHH!

haha.

Fin.